My Oh My Which Mind Am I?

Chapter 2: Lesson 3: Importance of Studying Multiple Minds

Sigmund Freud described the “ego” as a small part of the mind that plays a very big part. In the English language we often use the term “ego” incorrectly. We might say something like, “You have a big ego,” meaning you are arrogant or full of yourself. I do not use the term in that sense. I define the ego simply as the voice in our heads that advises us what to do, what not to do, and how to go about doing whatever we should do next. It also judges us and our behavior and appearance. That’s quite a lot of control held by this ego; wouldn’t you say? So then, why do we allow it?

Building on this, Eckhart Tolle posits that the 'ego' represents a construct within the mind shaped by the subconscious and unconscious sections of the mind which holds memories, experiences, and past occurrences, influencing future behaviors. Positioned between the conscious and subconscious minds, the ego serves as a conduit connecting these spheres, like a bridge facilitating the exchange of information. Understanding the directional flow of mental traffic across this bridge illuminates the primary reactive tendencies of the mind.

Here is an example: Why do you go to scary movies and get frightened? You know that the serial killer in the film isn't real and can’t come through the movie screen and actually try to kill you, yet most of us become afraid and some of us even scream while watching scary movies. Why?

It is because your subconscious mind doesn’t know what is real and what isn’t. And it reacts very quickly. Much faster than your conscious mind does. And before your conscious mind can jump in and remind you that what is on the movie screen isn’t real. Then you begin to relax as your conscious mind kicks in, trying to catch up, and reminds you that you are only in a movie theater, and you are actually safe.

The subconscious makes up the majority of your mind and reacts much more quickly, with all of its knowledge and programming stored in there from childhood (stranger danger!). The conscious mind, however, is much smaller and works more slowly, so it comes to your rescue later and reminds you, “Hey. This isn’t real, dummy. We’re in a movie theater. Pull yourself together.”

And this is when your ego chimes in with, “Ha-ha! You looked like such an idiot when you jumped out of your seat. Ha-ha-ha. Everyone is laughing at you now.”

That is the ego for you. First it makes you react, and then reminds you of how silly you looked after reacting. Since we know that the subconscious reacts more quickly than the conscious, we have a problem. A big problem. First, we got scared and yelled, and then we were reminded that it wasn’t real by the part of the mind that can make decisions and rationalize with the self. That part is the conscious mind. The conscious mind is slower and takes a second to catch up and here lies the problem. So, what can we do?

Take a PAUSE before reacting to anything. Just one second is all it takes for the conscious mind to catch up and stop you from doing or saying something that you can never take back. Something that can change the course of your entire life.

Your ego might say things like, “Why did you say that? Why did you do that? Don't do that. You are going to look foolish. You better not try to do that; you know you’re just going to fail. You can’t do that. I wonder what so-and-so thinks about that. Why haven’t they called back? I’ll bet they are angry about blah, blah, blah.” (Holy shit, I sound like my mother. Make it stop!)

Our subconscious quickly influences decisions through our ego, becoming dominant in our choices. We mostly depend on this inner voice, which is shaped by information from before we turned seven. Consider that. You aren’t making your own choices on most decisions. The ego pulls from the past because that is all it has access to. So you are making decisions for your future, based on past events, some of which aren’t even yours! Many were implanted at a young age when you didn’t understand anything about anything. Wow! It's no wonder we are all fucked up!

There is a constant civil war going on in your mind for ultimate control of your being, and subsequently, control of your existence!

The ego isn’t always bad or wrong. When the ego tells you not to talk to strangers, or not to get into a car with strangers, don’t take candy from strangers, that is most likely good advice brought forth from your subconscious mind. It will also prevent you from thinking you can fly or jump off a hundred-foot cliff and live. But do you see how even its good aspects are often the warnings it broadcasts, to which we give our undivided attention? It thrives on our fears.

We inherently tend to assume that this ego always has our best interests in mind and therefore we ought to trust it. We believe that our ego has always been there for us when no one else was. We think it is our guiding light. And most importantly, we think it is not only a part of us, but that it is us! We thought we created it, but we did not. If we had created it, or had control over its beginnings, we could do so much more with it. Instead, we typically have to spend a very long time fixing it because it has been programmed by others without our conscious consent.